Take my advice. Or don't.

I spend a lot of time thinking about Weight Watchers and leading meetings. I guess that makes sense, since it's my job, but the ratio of time spent thinking and time spent working is probably pretty high. Given that, it's not surprising that I was mulling over a recent discussion that we had in a meeting.

We were discussing going on vacation. A member asked the group for a little assistance, because she was headed to New Orleans. What should she do? A few people gave specific strategies, and then the conversation turned to whether or not to stress out over a trip like this. A lot of us were of the opinion that you only live once and hey, in New Orleans you've got to let the good times roll.

I made a point of asking the member whether she'd be okay coming back from the trip with a weight gain. And what I thought about today in reflecting on this discussion was that this question was probably the most important part of that conversation.

My job as a leader is to be a discussion facilitator. I'm supposed to be asking open-ended questions that stimulate you into thinking (and talking) about whatever our topic is for the week. It's important that I keep my own values out of the discussion and let all of you reach your own conclusions.

That's MY job, but it isn't the job of the other members in the meeting room. So let me just say this to you: if you ask for advice in the meeting room, you're not obligated to take the advice you get. You ARE, however, obligated to listen to it and give it fair consideration.

If most of the room is telling you that to get your activity in regularly you should work out in the morning, and you don't want to, you don't have to set that alarm clock extra early. There's probably some quiet soul sitting there who works out at lunch, and she might share that with you. And you might like that idea instead.

One of the best things about asking for advice in a meeting is that you get not just one opinion, but many. If you get many, chances are one of them will jive with you. And by the way, this is precisely why if you ever ask ME directly for advice, I get wishy-washy. I know what works for me, but I know it won't work for everyone.

So take my advice. Or don't. Just take someone's!